This post needs to start with back-story. Why? Because anyone who has followed me here, on Twitter, Instagram or knows me on Facebook knows that while I listen to a pretty broad variety of music genres — my love runs deep and undying, for all things rock, metal (metalcore, ‘alterna’ metal, death metal, etc…), hardcore, so on and so forth. So, to have a blog post dedicated to the name of a country singer… some, or most are probably head scratching right now.
I used to hate country. Hate it. All of my friends loved it. My redneck guy friends listened to nothing but AC/DC, Lynard Skynard, and country. A LOT of country. I once upon a time came to the conclusion that I was going to die from being tortured by country music. Then came the Leanne Rimes song “I Need You”. It was on the radio one night at the end of my junior year of high school (2001 to be exact). I was hanging out in the garage of a friend, with several other friends, and my best friend. We were working on one of their trucks, a common place thing at the time. In the deafening silence that came when the truck’s motor completely cut out, the song was blaring. Being a lyrical person, the lyrics hit me. I looked at my best friend, the one person that knew me wholly, and knew instantly that I would always associate that song with him.
Then came Lonestar’s “Amazed”. This was the song that that same best friend heard come on the radio one night (we were dating our junior year), and while it was playing, he told me it was the song that made him think of me.
When he passed away a few months later, I delved deep into country music. It started as my way of holding on to him, then I realized: Hey, this isn’t so bad. I kind of like it. Goddamn you Alan Jackson and your catchy “It’s Alright To Be A Redneck”…
Country music and I have a weird relationship. I have the music that is always there (the rock, the metal, so on and so forth), but everything else cycles through. I went on around a three year country hiatus because everything on the radio that wasn’t Miranda, Dierks or Gary — was garbage *cough*TaylorSwift*cough*
Randomly, I heard “Bottoms Up” in a local laundromat that I was in hanging up a flyer for one of my classes. I hung around a few extra minutes to listen to it and get the name of the singer. Brantley Gilbert. Okay, let’s check this guy out. I dig it.
Which propelled me back into my “country phase”. I’ve picked up a lot of new bands and singers over the past month and a half, but I’ve become pretty hooked on Mr. Gilbert. I like his style. His songs, the “gruff/rough” singing…
Oh hey, look, he dated Alex Dupree from One Tree Hill! Nationwide is on your side…
Then I see a photo of a sleeveless Brantley. Wait a second… Isn’t this the guy that was on NY Ink? The one talking about smacking his head on a tree after getting tossed from his truck? …hits good ole Google…
Okay, so apparently I’ve seen this guy before on TV. But he certainly didn’t have those guns. Being an arm girl, I’d definitely remember arms like that.
As a fitness person, I’m always curious on other people’s workouts. Famous or not. Seeing photos of Brantley popping up all over the place (I’ve discovered he’s a pretty big deal in the country world…), curiosity grew.
…Search the webs for “Brantley Gilbert workout”. Read the same story a million times about him working out with Tim McGraw on tour. See all kinds of photos of sleeveless Brantley.
Curiosity grew. Does this guy skip leg day? Where are Brantley Gilbert’s legs?! Why can’t I find them?
It didn’t matter how I typed it in or looked it up. Brantley Gilbert’s legs are simply non-existent. They do not exist. A million-bajillion photos, and not one of him in shorts (although he talks about wearing shorts in his fear of working out with Tim McGraw interview). Even his YouTube video of his polar plunge challenge, he’s wearing track pants (cop out).
Sure, it’s pretty entertaining that this is baffling me so, and that there’s an entire blog post dedicated to this. But, my workout/fitness driven mind finds itself on loop with curiosity. Not to mention, in this day and age, guys who don’t train legs become the entertainment not only of the internet, but to the fitness industry. Fitness pages will share memes and jokes about the jacked dudes with big arms and no legs.
So until I see legs, in my mind, he just doesn’t have any. No legs is better than little legs.