The “Give It To Me” mentality.

Nobody gives it to you, you have to take it.

At my nephew’s football game tonight, I realized, I wanted to scrap my initial idea tonight of a running blog, and change it to something like… The “GIVE IT TO ME” mentality of fitness took over my chaotic mind.

It was a junior varsity game, the last one of the season. My nephew is on said team. However, true to this particular coach’s “style”, my nephew and all of the other junior varsity players — never saw the field. The varsity players had a record at the end of THEIR season 2-7, while JV has a record of 5-1.

I have been to many games this season, for many different football teams. Part of my day job as a sports reporter and photographer. This particular coach, makes me shake my head. Why? He would rather lose a game, shout at his defensive line, watch his team get crushed — than make the changes he would need to make in order to play a successful game of football, and win. Because that would mean taking seniors off of the field, and putting in underclassmen.

The seniors are automatically made starters, never having to earn their spot on the field, while the players who play their positions better, watch from the sidelines. A quarterback who ignores the coach’s plays and creates his own. A team that fights and swears on the field, causing them to receive a 10-yard penalty because of their behavior. A defensive line that opens up like the Panama Canal right after a snap.

These players should be benched, and made to work and earn their places on the field. But instead, the privilege is just handed over to them.

This week in my fitness world, a few different things happened. I said good-bye to my last seasonal client, who, while I’m snowed in, will be enjoying the warm sun in Florida. I had two of my 60+ year old clients push themselves through six rather grueling rounds of a new workout, something I knew they had in them, but they themselves didn’t. The pride on their faces at the end, made it all worth it. And I had a potential client call with the request to lose 25-pounds by Thanksgiving week, and have a “nice, flat, toned stomach”. She and her husband are going to Mexico for Thanksgiving this year and she bought a bikini a few sizes too small, six months ago, to get her “up for losing the weight”. Yet she just now reached out to someone to accomplish that.

25-pounds in three weeks. Not to mention what she called a nice, flat and toned stomach.

Realistic? No, most certainly not by any healthy means. I won’t lie. It would take a lot of work to lose just half of that in a healthy way. I refuse to encourage unhealthy behavior for weight loss. Absolutely refuse.

I told her we could meet for a consultation, and made sure to make zero promise or guarantee I could do that even before she agreed to the consultation.


Because of the same mentality those seniors on the field tonight have developed. The Give It To Me mentality.

Results are not instant. You have to work for them.

The slew of advertisements for magic shakes, magic wraps or pills, those that will make you shed weight instantly – only encourage this mentality. The football coach I’ve mentioned here, he’s just like these advertisements. A world of false hope. The issue there is: Do they work? In reality: No. Very few work to some extent, but the results are only temporary. Lasting maybe a few days. Like with the players out there on the field. Only a few, a very small few, might be able to stand up to being able to prove that they deserve to stay on that field. The rest? Not so much. And with the magic potions: The damage to your body? Permanent. When those kids go off to college and think they’ll get the same privileges this coach extended to them? Heartbreak, because most coaches are not like that.

Over the summer, I had one of the gyms I contract with contact me because they had a woman who was getting married in two weeks that wanted to shed 20-pounds before her wedding.

My dilemma with clients like this, who are stuck in the Give It To Me mentality is: I take them on, make it clear that I can help them work towards that goal, make sure to NEVER say that I can do exactly what they are asking and — after just a session or two, they are not seeing results, it becomes my fault, I’m a horrible trainer, and I shouldn’t be working with people. I receive bad reviews from them. They tell all of their friends. It hurts my business. Never mind that I have several successful classes with glowing clients and reviews, or that I have many one-on-ones who have never once had a complaint… It will be because for the ones who want instant, finger snapped results, I’m “damaged”.

It is something that all trainers face. The clients who want as much in the result department, for as little to no work to them.

There is no magic workout. There isn’t a magic diet. It takes hard work and dedication to reach your goals in a healthy manner, and in that process, you learn the dedication and ways to keep successful and maintain your progress. There will be set backs, but if done properly, and coached correctly, those set backs will be easily overcome.

You won’t have it given to you — you have to take it. Dreams and goals only come to fruition if you’re willing to put the work into it.

Posted by

Mother. Photographer. Writer. Founder of Fit Fridays for Mental Health. Former powerlifter turned weightlifter. Coach & Nutritionist. Spondy/PCOS/Endo. Bully breed advocate.

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