This is motherhood.

Motherhood has been an easy transition for me. I feel that’s mostly because of how I tend to my crazy dog, Dunkin. And, how I have been with my relationships with friends.

The hardest part of motherhood has been… letting things go.

For almost twelve weeks now, my household cleaning schedule has been mostly non-existent. Yard cleanup, which typically starts happening the second all of the snow is finally gone (if not sooner, because yes, I do tend to rake around snow piles when I just want to get it started), didn’t start happening until this past weekend. Weeks after the snow finally completely melted away.

My car hasn’t been vacuumed in, I can’t remember when. I did however, manage a speed wash and wax just a few weeks ago. Which shows because I have wax blobs in all the nooks and crannies that I’ll be forever digging out.

I look around my house, or I climb into my car to run a few errands and have to fight the urge to cringe. I used to vacuum daily. My car was washed weekly and the inside was cleaned just as often.

Right now, I’m looking at the baby’s playmat that still needs to be picked up and put away. Just around the corner, I have, somewhere under a pile of baby related things, a dining room table. In my bedroom, under stacks of baby books, a burp cloth, and a bib, you can find my nightstand and a dresser.

Even my laundry basket has been taken over by baby things that need folding and putting away. And I don’t even want to get into what my laundry room or bathroom look like.

Yet, with the sun shining on this beautiful day, a day in which our temps finally pushed into the 60s and near 70… I found myself curled up on our bed, my little guy snuggled up with me and my dog at my feet. The windows open, giving us the sounds of the world outside still buzzing about.

Today was the first time since Valentine’s Day, that I was able to just let it go. With only 15 days left of my maternity leave, I have finally learned how.

Just like Elsa. I let the messy house, the messy car, the want to hit the pavement for a run, take up the weights in the garage… I let it all go and for once (despite my OCD pounding at my mental door) embraced the chaos.

Posted by

Mother. Photographer. Writer. Founder of Fit Fridays for Mental Health. Former powerlifter turned weightlifter. Coach & Nutritionist. Spondy/PCOS/Endo. Bully breed advocate.

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